Begin Again

If you get stuck, draw with a different pen. Change your tools, open your mind.
— Paul Arden
Photos by  Geneva Patterson

While it may be the end to my summer vacation, (which was both the most wonderful and stressful “free time” I have ever had) my ambitions and positive energy are going no where anytime soon. I have officially left behind a part of myself from the last two years at my college newspaper and the PVCC Student Government, neither I am taking on this Fall for a round two or three. But to move forward in my life I feel that I need to slowly walk away and say “thank you” to my past opportunities. To me everything is a stepping stone towards your dreams and I think I got the most that I possibly could out of what I have now decided to move on from.

Outfit details: "Monday" tee (TJ MAXX), circle skirt (Urban Outfitters), necklace (thrift gift), colorful bracelet (Target), gold spike bracelet (Rocks Box), "I Am Very Busy" planner ( )

Outfit details: "Monday" tee (TJ MAXX), circle skirt (Urban Outfitters), necklace (thrift gift), colorful bracelet (Target), gold spike bracelet (Rocks Box), "I Am Very Busy" planner (

Today I was welcomed by a banner that read “Welcome to the Real World” of practically paying through my third year of community college starting this week, beginning my Fall internship at College Times TODAY (wish me luck!), and embracing my true self with my goals to create happiness. AND I COULD NOT BE ANY MORE EXCITED. No, really I am. If anyone is afraid of change though it is definitely me. Changing my nail color I don’t mind, but if we are talking about jobs, routine, classes, career goals, even positive opportunities I rather just wave at them as they pass me by. Sadly, this is not an acceptable way to live one’s life because sometimes you need to change your tools to open your mind.

I would like to encourage those who are currently feeling the need for change but are too nervous to make the move already, to decide to begin again. I don’t necessarily believe that anyone can be or do anything they want to (like I will never become Beyoncé, I just won’t. Plus, there are copyright issues there). But I do think that anyone can change or start at any time and any place in their life. With the right connections (thank you Leadershape x100000000 for letting me meet the founder of College Times hence how I landed the internship), tools, time, and mindset it is possible for change to occur when needed.

So here it goes: take a step back, a deep breath, evaluate, then change.

Be More

For some time now I have come to the realization that I want more out of life than what it usually offers. Whether that is completing my simple homework assignments in a science class or ending a mediocre friendship, I want every aspect of my life to be as real as possible.

Everyday we wake up to engage in specific motions and some of these have certain expectations that are often never acted upon. Such as liking that famous person’s Instagram pictures wishing you had a life like theirs (when they have 10 million more followers than you), skipping class and expecting to ace your exam tomorrow, hoping some day you will land the career of your dreams and never moving forward after you realize what it takes to get there, and more. This used to be me and sometimes it still is.  In the past two years, the pace of my life has started to move quicker than I could handle. Because of this I have learned that time is of the utmost value to me including my happiness.  In the second half of last year I was having the ultimate mental breakdown where I was willing to drop my friends, work, and all of my involvement at school to live a stress-free and happy life. Interestingly enough, these were the aspects of my life that I had accepted in the first place to create my happiness. But I powered through with the help of those around me and survived yet another year of community college.

 In one of the links at the end I posted the article, "How To Achieve Work-Life Balance in 5 Steps". It made an especially accurate point that I am still learning to practice in my everyday life: "Everything is not equally important. Do fewer things and do them well". Looking at both the aspects of time and attitude, I realized that I have too much to offer at this point to accept mediocrity any longer. I would like to be more and as often as I can.

You don’t need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
— Wilson Kanadi

Now, this may sound surprising but I am not a perfectionist. I know when to throw in the towel, but usually after countless refusals. I would like to decide to not let my obstacles define me but guide me to learn from them. It is inevitable that you will fail for the 7 out of 8 times you try. But if I was a perfectionist I would not admit my failures, I would never grow, so being perfect (even if I wanted to be) would be impossible.

As a millennial, I admit to the desire of instant gratification. I think this desire for more stemmed as a young person growing up in this specific society. I do not want to settle for mediocrity in any aspect of my life or myself. And to me that does not mean I am selfish or unrealistic but I just know what I want out of life, I always have.

Accepting this I have chosen to be more than what others think I am (usually based on personal appearance) and what I think I am. I want more than what I think I can offer, not perfection just more. As well as more happiness, more opportunities to grow, more endlessly real relationships with those I encounter, more thoughts in my head that are so strong they feel like they are screaming. And I feel that once I can have that and once I can put those thoughts into words then I will be more.

Which is one of the many reasons I have decided to finally begin this blog. I have always wanted to share my thoughts with the world no matter how quiet or small they were, I just never had the push to do so until my young adult years. It is not my expectation to inspire or motivate any reader because that can only be decided on as an individual. That’s why one of my three topics of discussion is “Insight” (click link to see definition). I cannot change anyone nor do I want to, but I would like to provide commentary to my thoughts and insight to anyone who may have the same questions as I do. So I hope that I can talk about these specific subjects that may plague many of you now or will in the future.  

If you would like to continue to read about topics similar to this, you can click my “Contact Me” tab and receive email notifications when I post. Also please feel free to comment below or send me a simple message if you agree, disagree, or want to share your experiences with these topics.

Mondays have been known as the ugly step sister of the seven days and I would like to turn that idea around so that we can all have more positive perspectives for the beginning of the week. I hope now your Mondays are a little less dreary than usual; you can also click the links below to get even more positive juices flowing.

I have decided to be more to those around me, in my school work, in a professional setting, for myself, tomorrow, now, and always.